"It's Randy hello, it's Randy"

I just had some dude try to walk into my house saying "It's Randy, hello it's Randy". I was sitting at the computer thinking about what to write about and I hear someone open the storm door and then try the knob. I immediately throw open the door and go "Who the Fuck is Randy!?" The dude throws his hands in the air and goes "I'm just from the Denver Post I just want to see if you're interested in a weekend paper." and tries to shake my hand I slapped his hand away from me and told him to get off my property. This son of a bitch tried to walk into my house and then when he realized he was about two seconds from getting his teeth rearranged he tried to sell me a freaking newspaper?!! The only reason I didn't stomp this dude out is because he was wearing a Denver Post stocking cap and jacket. The more I think about it though the more it pisses me off. It's almost 8 o'clock at night and this asshole is out going door to door. My own friends don't even walk into my house uninvited especially with a sick little girl and a pregnant wife in the house. Daddy's on high alert!! I don't know what this dude was thinking. Maybe he thought Nina lived here by herself because he sure looked scared as hell when I came flying out onto the front step at him. It takes a lot to get me fired up to the point where I would hurt somebody but that did it for sure. You try walking into my house like that and we're gonna go a couple rounds. What would it take to get you guys fired up like that?